A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Girl’s Night…

I just park the car when my phone rings. It is our health care provider. Don’t worry, it gets funny…

Lady from HCP: “Hi! I wanted to let you know about our genetics autism study.” (It will get funny.)

Me: “I know all about it but we cannot participate.”

Lady: “Just please give me a minute to explain the process and what it can do for you and your child.”

She continues to talk, and talk. I have just arrived at girl’s night and I have a mojito with my name on it, but she goes on. I let her, because she has hit a groove, and the punchline may be worth it.

Me: “So all you need is a genetic sample from each biological parent.”

Lady: “Yes! See, it is easy.”

Me: “We bought sperm off the internet.”

Lady: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Designer sperm. From a cryobank. Frozen swimmers. Made a baby.”

Lady: “Um… oh.”

Me: “Yeah, that is in my son’s file.”

Lady: “I see.”

Me: “I can try to track down the donor. I know he doesn’t mind giving away his, um, genetic material. My kid has nine biological half siblings, so I’m sure he is pretty good at it.”

Lady: *stifles giggle* “No, no. That’s ok. Sorry it’s not going to work out.”

Hey, I get my entertainment where I can. Speaking of which, mmmmm…. mojitos.  Now when it comes to the health care provider asking how many adult beverages I have in a week, well, that is when the truth might need a little stretching.


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