I just park the car when my phone rings. It is our health care provider. Don’t worry, it gets funny…
Lady from HCP: “Hi! I wanted to let you know about our genetics autism study.” (It will get funny.)
Me: “I know all about it but we cannot participate.”
Lady: “Just please give me a minute to explain the process and what it can do for you and your child.”
She continues to talk, and talk. I have just arrived at girl’s night and I have a mojito with my name on it, but she goes on. I let her, because she has hit a groove, and the punchline may be worth it.
Me: “So all you need is a genetic sample from each biological parent.”
Lady: “Yes! See, it is easy.”
Me: “We bought sperm off the internet.”
Lady: “Excuse me?”
Me: “Designer sperm. From a cryobank. Frozen swimmers. Made a baby.”
Lady: “Um… oh.”
Me: “Yeah, that is in my son’s file.”
Lady: “I see.”
Me: “I can try to track down the donor. I know he doesn’t mind giving away his, um, genetic material. My kid has nine biological half siblings, so I’m sure he is pretty good at it.”
Lady: *stifles giggle* “No, no. That’s ok. Sorry it’s not going to work out.”
Hey, I get my entertainment where I can. Speaking of which, mmmmm…. mojitos. Now when it comes to the health care provider asking how many adult beverages I have in a week, well, that is when the truth might need a little stretching.