One Day My Son Relaxed

A few years back, I was outside chatting with my neighbor. My son was napping in his room. My back was turned away from my house. Suddenly I saw my neighbor’s expression change.

“Your son is hanging from the curtain rod.”

I turned around and there he was, both hands clinging to the rod, looking slightly stunned. Knowing he was unharmed, this may seem funny or cute. I suppose it would be, if this happened to be an isolated incident. This was just a Thursday.

This isn’t a story about how all of my curtain rods are bent, (even though they are.) This is a story about the day that I discovered what ADHD meant to my son.

I decided to let him try fishing. I didn’t expect it to go well because history has proven he was not a fan of sitting still. I explained the process, handed him the only unbent rod in the house, and he sat. I watched him stare out at the water. A light breeze was blowing his hair back. His shoulders softened into a slight slump. He was relaxed. He was seven years old and I had never seen him relax.

Even in sleep, his jaw is tight. If you were to lift his arm, it would resist. This is everyday. All moments of the day. What does it mean?

ADHD means that there is no such thing as, “Getting the wiggles out.”

ADHD means taking a test in the morning and getting and A, then taking it in the afternoon and failing.

ADHD means that he did not just have too much sugar.

ADHD means a trampoline in your living room.

ADHD means if your body is forced to stop, your mouth will not.

ADHD means you will be judged for medicating, or not medicating.

ADHD means you have never heard the term, “playdate.”

ADHD is the string of a bow always pulled tight.

It is real.

Almost daily someone will ask the hated question, “Ugh, how do you manage?” Well, I can sit on the couch and have a glass of wine. I can pull on a blanket and let my arms relax at my sides.

I can sit and I can wonder, “How does he manage?”

One Comment
  1. Thank you for truthful definitions. I’ve heard so many and without reference I don’t know what to listen to. Or how to differentiate between true ADHD and just plain needing to get the wiggles out!

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